Sunday, March 9, 2008

NCAA to Ban the Color Blue Next?

From the Grand Forks Herald "A January vote by NCAA members gives increased authority to the group that enacted the association’s 2005 Indian nickname ban to implement similar policies in the future."

Rumors of impending changes include the banishment of the color blue from all College uniforms, logos, and nicknames.

An unnamed, unreliable source has confirmed that, "now that we [the Executive Committee] have 'god' status, we have to solidify our reign by removing anything that remotely resembles our blue NCAA logo. Hence, anything with blue in it simply has to go. Those schools can pick some other color but blue is ours. We own it and we're not sharing. If anyone resists, we will simply ban them from receiving any of the post-season money that they... I mean, we generate. The Delaware Blue Hens will have to change their name - maybe they can just be the 'Hens.' Duke? Let's face it, Red Devils would make more sense anyway, wouldn't it? Our committee has even worked a deal where we'll pay Notre Dame $10M to move to their green jerseys full time. I mean, Notre Dame, we have to treat them differently, you know?"

As part of their ever increasing efforts to be politically correct, the committee is also undertaking a study as to the feasibility of 'points sharing.' It seems that players on 'non-winning' teams may suffer from damage to their self-esteem. To avoid upsetting disadvantaged players, the NCAA is proposing that both teams will get identical scores regardless of which team actually scores. "After all," our source confirmed, "everyone is trying. It's only right that they get their fair share of the points." Under this plan, all tournaments will be played in a round robin format and all players and teams not wearing blue will be declared "Co-National Champions." The Bowl Division of NCAA football will continue to play bowls but now every team will get to go to a bowl game since all will have identical, non-offensive records.

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