Human Statue of Liberty

Cool picture taken back in 1918! This is 18,000 men preparing for war in a training camp at Camp Dodge, Iowa.

There are some other similar pictures at: Carl Hammer Gallery

Absolut Mexico?

I don't know if this is old news or not (is that an oxymoron?)... My daughter told me about this. She said they discussed this in her college history class. You could say it is just an ad run in Mexico, but is it? Should Americans be ticked about it or is it just a way to get Absolut in the news? It appears to be working... Should it spur a boycott in the USA?

As an aside, I never quite understood the allegiance to the taste of a product that's supposed to be tasteless...

You can see some discussion on it at: LATimesBlogs.com

Random Thoughts

Quote of the day: A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Found this web site linked from a printing company website: The History of Taxation.


Now that the Presidential candidates are declaring years ahead of the election, the cartoon above becomes even more true. My questions are:

• If being a United States Senator is so easy that you can do it in your spare time while doing years of campaigning and fund-raising, what are the rest of the Senators doing with all that free time (idle minds are the playgound of the devil...)? ...and why are we paying them so much?
  
• Even if they are only campaigning when the Senate is not in session, how are they representing their states? How are they studying up on key issues?
  
• If being a US Senator is a full time job, how can those running effectively do the jobs that we're paying them so highly to do?

I like that commercial that says "What if firefighters ran the country..." ... if only.

Maybe I missed something, suddenly I'm seeing Ken Griffey, Jr. listed as "Griffey Jr." in the box scores on ESPN. Has Senior come back to play? That's the only reason I can think that they would need to distinguish him that way. Similarly, I noticed Patrick Ewing, Jr's jersey actually says "Ewing, Jr." on it. Now I know that both Mr. Ewings went to the same school, Georgetown, but they are not playing together so I fail to see the need.

Which leads me to another sports peeve. Why does any team feel the need to put first initials on the jerseys of players who share the same last name? There is a GIGANTIC number on the front and back of the player's shirt that distinguishes the two. Are fans so lazy that they can't figure out that #85 is Chad Johnson and #32 is Rudi Johnson? It gets even worse when teams then start to spell out the first name and or middle name in order to clearly distinguish which player is which. Perhaps we should do away with numbers all together. I kind of like the attitude of the teams that refuse to put names on home jerseys. Fans know which player is which.

'nuff said.

Playing With a Taser

I'll start this off by saying I don't know whether it is true or not. Neither does Snopes. I just know I laughed until I cried when I read it. Enjoy...

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inches in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy-bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it, dipstick," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD... ...WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION... WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jesse Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about eight feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I crapped myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles.

PS - My wife loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it.

"If you think education is expensive, try being stupid."

Malice or Stupidity?

One of my favorite quotes is Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. But yesterday I found this on Wikipedia:

A practical observation on the risks of stupidity was made by the German General Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord in Truppenführung, 1933: "I divide my officers into four classes; the clever, the lazy, the industrious, and the stupid. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the highest staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy however is for the very highest command; he has the temperament and nerves to deal with all situations. But whoever is stupid and industrious is a menace and must be removed immediately!"

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon's_razor

Who Will Own Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)?

At the conference, "Mecca, the Center of the Earth, Theory and Practice," Muslim scientists and clerics called for a change to make Mecca the time reference for the world. They argued that the holy city in Saudi Arabia is the center of the Earth and should be the reference point for world time, not Greenwich (pronouced "Gren-itch"), England.

Greenwich, England was originally chosen because its longitude is 0 degrees, 0 minutes, 0 seconds. Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) has been the standard time since 1884.

GMT is also sometimes known as "Zulu" time, particularly by aviators. Some people mistakenly believe that the term "Zulu" is related to GMT's Zero-Hour time reference since "Zulu" is the phonetic reference for the letter "Z." I have it from a reliable source, however, that the people of Greenwich were very much impressed with the 1986 ABC mini-series, Shaka Zulu, and lobbied with airline pilots unions, under the promise of "change" to get pilots to coin the new terminology.

Now that the Muslim community has lobbied for Mecca to be the new Mean time, other religions have gotten on board. Rumor's have it that the Pope was caught on audio tape in a private conversation with American priests lobbying to make Vatican City the new standard.

The Dalai Lama has begun preliminary discussions on making Tibet the new standard for time. A theory there is that by moving the central time reference for the planet into China perhaps the Chinese government would cut them some slack. The Chinese government is not amused. The Chinese are fine with equating England with a lot of zeroes.

And finally, Tom Cruise has a taken different tack in an effort to make Scientology the religion that owns time. Tom has gone into negotiations to buy the town of Greenwich with the plan to move it into his backyard in Beverly Hills. Of course he will make pretenses of trying to get the local government to fund a new stadium deal that he knows won't go through so that he can move the time zone "with a clear conscience." He hopes that his efforts will allow the world to retain the "Greenwich" name by changing it slightly to Greenwich Cruise Time.

The Hoochie Mama of Ellicott City

Okay, couple of weeks ago we were wandering around historic downtown Ellicott City, Maryland when we came upon the Sweet Cascades Chocolatier at 8167 Main Street. I'm not sure what a 'chocolatier' is but I'm pretty sure it means they make candy. Anyway, we stepped inside to see what savory wares they might have.

In no time, the Mrs. was pointing out a thing called a "Hoochie Mama" (right) on one of the lower shelves. It was a jalepeno pepper dipped in chocolate. Oh my!

Since "Hoochie Mama" is my catch word for everything (kind of like a mainland version of "da kine"), I just had to get one.

I asked how hot the peppers were and the proprietor said they were fairly hot. I asked if the chocolate would cut the heat any. She lovingly smirked as she replied, "Honey, you won't even know the chocolate is there." Yikes!

She tried valiantly to convince me to bite the Hoochie Mama right there in the store but I had bigger plans. We were meeting a large group for dinner and I wanted to show off my Hoochie Mama.

I'll add here that I also bought a slice of chocolate covered bacon. That just sounded too strange to pass up.

So off we went to meet our group. There were about 30 people from the our week-long conference gathered for dinner at the Crab Shanty. I probably made a spectacle of showing off my Hoochie Mama but I think it was fun for everyone. I will also add that I gave everyone in the place a chance to bite the Hoochie Mama and none stepped forward.

So, after polishing off the Soft Shell Crab Volcano, I gathered everyone around to witness the event. After offering my Hoochie Mama one last time to everyone in the crowd and finding no takers, I lifted my chocolate dipped pepper friend and took the plunge.

I'd like to admit that I chewed my Hoochie Mama with a casual abandon befitting a man of my stature. I'd like to... but I can't. I had a glass of milk waiting there on the table and quickly chased the Hoochie Mama with the milk. She was still pretty danged hot. It was an event. George Wright tried some of the pepper (without the benefit of the milk - I drank it all). He ate it and he liked it. He was sweating profusely and had a kind of wide-eyed look on his face, but he liked it. I liked it too.

So, if you ever find yourself in Ellicott City (just outside of Baltimore), head to historic downtown Ellicott City and the Sweet Cascades Chocolatier and find yourself a Hoochie Mama. I'm sure you will enjoy it.

April 15th - the Real April Fools Day

Welcome to the real April Fools Day. I was thinking about the three big Presidential candidates making their empassioned pleas for donations during the Idol Gives Back event last week. I saw only glimpses of the event but I was fortunate(?) enough to catch our candidates.

How much more could people give if we didn't have this punative tax burden heaped onto our backs? After listening to all these politicians I finally get it. The whole problem with the the Government is that they don't have enough of my money. I wonder what would happen if we had a fair tax system...

By the way, what was with Bono defining the "new Americans" as the kind of people who will dig deep to give to Idol Gives Back? Seems to me that the "old" Americans have given quite a bit. Why are we even entertaining these ideas that there is something wrong with us?

Mercedes Joystick Car - Not So New After All

Got this email today touting this cool new Mercedes that uses a joystick rather than a steering wheel. Perfect for the Nintendo generation, eh? Except that the F 200 was a concept introduced at the 1996 Paris Auto Show.

Interesting that 12 years later we're still stuck with steering wheels. I'm going to the Atlanta Auto Show next week so I'll let you know if I find anything I can drive with my xBox controller.

1996 Mercedes Benz "Joystick" F 200 Concept Car

Pickle Day in McDonough?

There is a rumor going around that April 7th is Pickle Day in McDonough, Georgia. I haven't confirmed this but if you see Tony B - make sure to ask him.

Or... it might just be his birthday...

Virtual Bubble Wrap

I have a similar application for my PDA. Kids love it because the PDA vibrates whenever you pop a bubble. But this virtual bubble wrap is almost as good.

Sunbathing Squirrel

In the midst of the afternoon heat yesterday, Madison noticed this squirrel sunbathing on the deck out back. I guess the warm wood felt good as it is still getting down around 30 degrees at night.

Infectious Laughter

How can you not laugh with this? As the original author says, this is why we spend big bucks on technology.

Who is this Mouse?

Lost at Trivia last night. We were in first place going into the final bonus question and wagered all of our points on the category "Famous Mice." And this little rapscallion to the left hosed us big time.

I hate meeces to pieces...


As an aside, we sat next to the "Icehole" team and so I felt comfortably at home throughout the evening.

Going-Away Cake

Okay. Imagine you call to order a cake. You explain, "I want it to say 'Best Wishes Suzanne.' Underneath that, 'We will miss you!'"

Oh the humanity!!!

Thanks, Angie

Hollywood Sign Generator

www.glassgiant.com/hollywood_sign/

Multitasking

Have you seen this Sprint/Palm Centro commercial? The narrator explains how people using the Palm Centro are able to get more done by multitasking.

But the narrator's "multitaskers" are all standing around doing nothing. Shouldn't they be doing something else while this guy is narrating the commercial? Isn't that what multitasking is all about?

Don't you hate days like that - when all your multitaskers are standing around watching...

ROUS's

I believe this news item was fortold in the classic movie, The Princess Bride, where the Fire Swamp included ROUS's: Rodents of Unusual Size

Copyright 2008 in 2007?

I was at a bookstore last weekend glancing through a couple of books and sipping some coffee and noticed one of the books has a 2008 copyright. Now I thought the purpose of a copyright was to protect your original works by stamping them with when they were created. Am I wrong? How can a book that was published in 2007 have a 2008 copyright? Why would you do that? I am perplexed.

Finally! We Have Rain

Even the birds are excited about it.